Diana’s Story: One Year On

When you look back at your cancer journey now, what stands out to you the most?

It is not a journey; it is an adventure – those are the words I like to use to describe it. My whole life, not just the cancer has made me the person I am today. It has been the highs and lows from past experiences of cancer and life that makes me a stronger person to tackle challenges that I face everyday.

Has your perspective on life changed since your diagnosis and treatment? If so, how?

The first time I was diagnosed, I saw it differently. It was curable cancer, so we knew that I could overcome the condition and there was light at the end of the tunnel. Now, it is different. It is not curable, it is a death sentence, and I am learning to live with an incurable disease daily.

I have a unique perspective on death, I am accepting of it. Accepting that I am dying has made me change my mindset on how to live each day. I am going through the grieving process backwards; I have asked why? Why me? I have grieved and now I am accepting, and this helps my mind each day. It helps me appreciate the smaller things in life, like sitting down to a family meal together.

What is something you’ve learned about yourself that surprised you?

I am surprised that with the amount of cancer in my body, the medications I am on, I still have the total mobility. The mind is stronger than the body and when I am determined to do something, I make sure it gets done.

How are you doing today?

My cancer has progressed, and I am not doing great. The breast cancer has metastasised to my brain, this causes me to have seizures. The cancer is spreading through my spine, hips, pelvis, neck, shoulder and ribs. I am about to start radiation for the pain the cancers cause me on my hip. I have lost the use of my car because of the cancer in the brain, this means my independence has been lost. I am fortunate to have good family who supports me to get to my appointments, treatments and social activities, in and around their jobs, children and their activities. I have lots of offers for people to drive me, but I am Miss Independence and don’t easily accept peoples help. I am learning to be grateful and accept what I must and to just say thank you.

Has bowls played a different role in your life since your treatment?

Cancer has helped the mental side of my bowls. And in turn, bowls has helped me work through my cancer diagnosis and treatment. On the bowling green, I can shut out the cancer, turn off the thoughts about the next scan, or awaiting the next lot of results. When I roll that bowl down the green, I think of nothing else and that is good for mind, my mental health.

What’s been your favourite bowls moment of late?

Last Christmas I wanted to contribute to Christmas dinner. My bowls had not been great, I was tired, and things were changing. Teri Blackbourn and Lisa Mundell asked me to play in a twilight tournament, first prize was a ham. I told my daughter that I was going to bring one home……..she went and brought one because stock was running low in the supermarket and she was worried we might not have ham for Christmas Day. Due to the finish timing of twilight bowls my daughter picked me up. I remember walking out of the clubhouse with the ham in my hands, it was heavy, I was struggling to carry it to the car, but I was so proud of myself in that moment. It was also one of the last times I bowled.

Are there any people from the bowls community you would like to acknowledge or thank?

My bowling club, Claudelands, in Waikato has been amazing. There is always someone chatting, offering rides and sharing there bowling story.  Of course, I would like to thank the clubs in Hawkes Bay as well, Bowls Taradale, Bowls Omarunui and Bowls Napier. And then there was Johnston Park Fielding, Maria Bowling club, as well as Ngawhatu Bowling Club - which is where it all started.

Has sharing your story through “Check Your Bowls” resulted in any conversations or feedback that have stuck with you?

It was a privilege to share my story with Bowls New Zealand. I had great feedback, strangers who even felt they could ‘chat’ with me about their experiences with cancer. I feel I would still like to get the message out to our men that they need to check there breasts as well, men generally will hide behind the symptoms, push through it, but I think its important for them to take note, get checked and be serious about their health.

What made you decide to share such a personal story publicly?

I hope that sharing my story helps people to play better bowls. I hope that people realise no matter their aches and pains, they can get through it and the community within bowls can help by being active, having a community to support you through the tough and good times.

What is one message you would like every member of the bowls community to hear?

I am glad to share my story. “Check your bowls” adds another element to the conversation and I think that is important. People say, “We only live once.” I say, “We live lots, we only die once!”

Check Your Bowls!

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